Rubbish Blogger. Sorry.

I'm rubbish at this. And so is Blogger.

Word on the street is that Blogger is to become Google Blogs pretty soon, and I think I'm going to try and take advantage of the change to split my personality a little more than I already have.

The more connected we all become, across the myriad of platforms that currently exist (and the many more that will undoubtedly exist in the future), the more important profile management will become. It's difficult. Those of you who follow my Twitter feed will be aware that, rather than be the guy constantly drumming out the same old special offers on driving lessons, and wails of self congratulatory messages, I prefer that people get to know me through my feed. I'm not particularly "on" Twitter to help my business - I'm there because I enjoy the company. Sometimes I'll bore you with incessant updates about Liverpool FC and the Evil Empire that is Chavsea. On other occasions I may go a little left field and I'd be extremely surprised if I haven't offended a few of you. Sorry. But hopefully I also manage to share some decent content and raise a smile or two along the way. A mixed bag. Fine.

The important thing is that should you decide to trust me with your hard earned cash, you already know that I'm not perfect. You should also know that I'm going to be as up front and honest with you in our business dealings, as I am with my 500 followers (*watches as everyone rushes to click unfollow*) many times throughout the course of every day. It's tricky to say that about a brand that is plugging out the same turgid promo links at a steady rate of one per day.

Now, that's not to say that corporate presence isn't important. I manage the Twitter feed for my Franchise, Caledonian Learner Driver Training, and I understand that the left field approach may not be appropriate here. Especially since it isn't my company. However, I want the two accounts to run together. They should compliment each other, and the concept of making my own feed private, for fear of people getting the wrong impression of me makes me sad. What's the point? If you want free reign to tweet dirty jokes and you're worried about folk getting the wrong (or the more accurate) impression, get a new account. Go dark. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. ***As this is the paragraph about Caledonian LDT, I should mention that if you book a block of ten lessons during July or August 2011, you'll get 2 lessons free. End of message. ;~)***

I dare say all the social media gurus, experts, brandologists, shamans, and snake oil merchants out there know all this already, and have probably said it all before, far more eloquently somewhere and on a prettier blog. But I'm afraid most of you bore me. Sorry.

I started this post with the aim of explaining to you that my Blog was going to become more professional, and I've ended up imploring you to make your Twitter feeds more personal. Sorry. The Blog will be focusing on the Driving industry from here on in, and on a more regular basis. I hope you all still hang tough with me, and say hello sometime. I'm a real person, you know.

Cheers,

Stewart.

Lower Respiratory Tracts and Nipples

Nokia Sports Tracker Beta

Today is the start of Week 4. My 4th week as a Pro Athlete. And it's fair to say the previous 3 weeks have been a little trickier than I expected.

It's taken me a fortnight to double my time spent in motion, from 4 minutes to 8 minutes, and I've had to take a few more days off than I had planned due to various indications that I've been overdoing things. Breathing problems, sore joints, sore feet, tingly fingers, headaches. It's tough at the top. I expected to be running a little bit farther by now, but I guess I should be happy with any progress at all. As mentioned on a previous blog, I want to get back to playing football on a regular basis, and perhaps this is making me a bit impatient.

A more pleasing, if slightly masochistic, event has been that I have started to cough up what could be described as tar from my lungs each morning. I smoked my last cigarette on the 6th January 2010 which is 16 weeks on Wednesday. The removal of this gunk from my lungs is a sign that the cilia in my airwaves is starting to grow back. Disgusting? Yes. But I am very happy about it. I've been concerned for a while that since giving up, I was failing to reap the benefits that all the quitting networks bang on about. I now reckon that each person's recovery and sense of well being is directly linked to the recovery of the cilia, and how quickly your body can rid itself of the toxins. Don't expect to hear about this on the gum and patch adverts though.

In other news, and to reinforce my position as a Pro Athlete, I bought new running shoes, and a new top. As you can see from the link, the top will protect me from harmful UV rays, which is important in Glasgow. It will also ensure I don't chafe my nipples.

Speaking of nipples, this weekend is my Stag Weekend. Which is obviously fitting perfectly into my new training regime. We're off to Amsterdam, and I realise it's a little bit of a cliche, but as a man in a kilt once said to me, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." There's about ten of us and I'm sure we'll all behave ourselves, Shona. I'll be cutting down on my booze intake this week in preparation for the main event. Pint a night is fine, eh? I'll run it off...

Thanks for reading,

Stewart.

Nokia Sports Tracker Beta

Nokia Sports Tracker Beta

I'm just testing this link to my Blog. Nothing to see here.

Move along please...

Ta,

SL

My Iron Lungs

It's time to move this mid-life crisis up a notch or 2.

I was invited to play 5-a-side football last week by my future brother in law. Having given up smoking (3 months now) I was perhaps a little bit naive in thinking that I'd be fine, and that the old skill set would somehow shine through. Long story short is that I made a complete arse of myself.

I managed to run for around 3 minutes before having to ask to go in goal.

The muscles in my legs went on strike - for the first ten minutes I had a 5 pint style swagger.

I couldn't get my breath back without standing completely still, with my hands on my head to open up my lungs. I felt like I was drowning.

In 5s, the accepted protocol is that when a goal is conceded, the goalkeeper changes. The idea is that fresh legs move outfield, and everyone gets a chance of a breather. My team missed out on both these benefits. I did venture out occasionally, and it was good fun, but to be fair, I didn't belong there. The other 9 guys were aged between 25 and over 40 and were an inspiration.

And so the running regime began today with a 0.6km jog around the block. I really enjoyed the football and it's given me the kick I needed to get myself into shape. My target is to be able to go back to the game in a few weeks and not humiliate myself. I also need to build up the leg muscles so will be working out in the house a bit. My other inspiration in all of this is my Best Man, IC. He's managed to shed 70lbs in about a year, since giving up smoking and getting into all kinds of running / spin classes / body combat nonsense. It's incredible.

For the Tech fans, I've downloaded this cool app for Nokia called Sports Tracker. It locks onto your location via GPS and follows you as you run, working out pace and distance covered. You can upload it onto maps, or plan your route in advance.

For the smokers, give it up. I don't miss it at all. Get this book. And eat porridge.

And for the neighbours, stop laughing at me while I'm out running this week.

Cheers,

Stewart.

Updates

So, err, right:

I passed my final qualification exam to become a fully fledged Driving Instructor 2 weeks ago. The whole process has taken just about a year and has not been cheap. I'm convinced I've made a good choice though. I've been able to work on a temporary licence for a couple of months while completing my training, and it's been a very enjoyable experience. It's a good feeling when a Learner has a good lesson, or when you see them carry out a manoeuvre without any prompting from yourself. I've made contact with a lot of cool Instructors via Twitter and they have all, along with Cliff Atkinson of Caledonian LDT, been really helpful and generous with their advice. Cheers chaps.

By far the most enjoyable aspect though, is running my own show. "The Business" got off to a really good start, thanks to friends and probably a little bit of luck. Things are slow at the moment, with regards to new pupils, but I'm working hard on the marketing and remain optimistic.

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I've been fushing once, which is beyond poor. I apologise profusely to followers of the faith everywhere. However it was in the Andalucia region of Spain, and I did catch a cracking carp (I think) on an Adams pattern. Cracking fight on the SLT #5, before you ask, Marc. Sho and I spent 5 nights in the middle of nowhere, in a private villa, playing Trivial Pursuit, reading Dumas, and generally chilling out on Rioja.and BBQ chicken. We'll be back next year for more of the same. And more fush.

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The Old Man finally made it out of Hospital after 5 months, so I have nothing to do with my evenings anymore. He's surprisingly sane and philosophical about the whole experience, and I salute him for that. There were some dark moments when I almost lost it for him - he never once felt sorry for himself though. I can't help but feel a smaller man would have dealt with things in a very different manner. My Mum is also readjusting well to the fact that she can no longer swan off to the wine bar / restaurant following afternoon visiting, so all seems well. :~)

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Not sure if what's been happening to my folks recently influenced the decision or not, but I decided to go back to work on the Dostoyevsky Project. "The Brothers Karamazov" was once described by Sigmund Freud as "The most magnificent novel ever written", and it's fair to say it's no Harry Potter. I was considering recently (on Twitter incidentally), that if I live to the age of 75, and read 6 books a year, that I only have 240 more titles left in me. I'd like to get through the big boys. Dickens, Hugo, Tolstoy, Chaucer and Balzac are just some of the bodies of work I would like to tackle. There's also some serious Dante investigation to be carried out, and another look at the rest of that bible mythology. If only they could make it a bit more believable - Homer managed it.

As a side note, I feel my atheism has become a little less fundamental recently. I promise to try harder.

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Apart from proposing to Sho (he drops casually into conversation), nothing much else has been happening. The Big Day is 12th June 2010, (no Minister) and I'll be told what time to turn up at. The Best Man and Ushers have been recruited, and preliminary Stag plans have begun to take shape. It's a shame none of the lads fush.

Thanks for reading,
Stewart.

Uefa and Eduardo

I am an Eduardo fan and an admirer of Arsenal, but this is a disgusting decision by Uefa. A huge opportunity has been missed by the people who run our game to finally take a stance against the cheats. The fairies have been given the green light to continue falling over.

As a side note, every Premier League manager who defended Eduardo for attempting to trick the referee, now has no right whatsoever to complain the next time their team is the victim of similiar histrionics. Journalists likewise, who were quick to jump on Uefa's back, can stick their forthcoming articles on diving ruining the result of a match straight into the bin marked "Hypocritical Nonsense".

History will look back on this incident as a watershed moment which everyone, from Uefa, to the Managers, to the Media all decided to a man, that cheating should remain an acceptable part of our game.

Yours, in apathy,
Stewart.

Self Employment

Okey Dokey then,

Top Ten Tips when setting up as Self Employed

1) Can you afford it? Speak to your partner and compile your budget alongside your monthly outgoings for the next few years. This can be quite a long process, and you need to take into account, for example, interest rate fluctuations on your mortgage, inflation increases, pension contributions, NI contributions, spending money for both of you, and a host of other things which you'll remember at the last moment. Only after you've agreed that you won't end up homeless, should you proceed.

2) Do your research. Is there a market for what you will be providing? If so, how will you be different from the competition. How will you attract people to your business? What prices do your competitors charge? How long did it take your competition to become established? Talk to these people - they were all in your position at one point. And for the most part they will be sympathetic to your position.

3) Get organised. Get a business bank account for your income and business related outgoings. Get a diary. Or use Google Calendar synchronised to your phone. Create an Excel spreadsheet for your budget, and another to record your weekly actuals. Fill your figures in every night after work. You are self employed - you will never work 9-5 ever again.

4) Don't forget the Taxman. Set aside around 23% of your profits each month in an ISA or somewhere you can't get to quickly. Get an Accountant to advise in the early stages. He'll instruct on things like your NI contributions to make sure you're playing the game.

5) Have faith. The most difficult thing is waiting for the phone to ring. If you've marketed properly, and done your research, it will happen. Not overnight though. Your budget should reflect this with lower expectations for the first year. Hope for the best, plan for the worst.

6) Keep yourself busy. There's no point in acting like you're still unemployed during the starting out, quiet times. Get out and do something in between jobs. Being self employed requires you to always be thinking of ways to succeed. Sitting on the couch playing the X Box is not conducive to this state of mind.

7) Look after your early clients. Explain that you're just starting out (as opposed to claiming years of experience). If you connect and do a good job, they'll be more likely to send you referrals.

8) Image. Be smart, and shave. If you're in the same line as me, don't get a Micra. Invest in your start up equipment. It speaks volumes and infers a pride in your work.

9) Spread the word. A huge part of small business marketing can now be done through
Facebook and Twitter. Investigate these platforms and work out a way of using them to your advantage.

10) Be grateful. Grateful that you've perhaps found a way to be your own Boss. Choosing your own working hours. Be grateful that the bottom line on your figures is your future as opposed to someone else's bonus who you've never met.


Please feel free to add your own tips.

Cheers,
Stewart.